Life has brought me around to reading back over some past posts. This one resonated with me today. I hope you enjoy reading it.
My five-year-old granddaughter, Brielle, never shows up empty-handed when she comes to visit. Many times, she’s the first of her tribe of seven into the house. She always rushes to the kitchen, where she knows she’ll find me, and delivers her latest note or picture. This week, it was a drawing of me holding her in my arms, smiles on our faces as heart-shaped clouds hovered overhead. Her portrayal of our relationship was so sweet.
The funny thing is we did not start that way—quite the contrary. As a baby, Brielle was hostile towards me. No cuddling was allowed. She did not trust me. Even though she could see that her siblings loved and trusted me, she wasn’t going to do it. As you can imagine, I was disappointed and a little heartbroken, but time and persistence (on my part) did their magic. We got to know each other and formed a relationship that eventually became strong affection. I have the evidence contained in a growing stack of love letters.
I think perhaps my initial relationship with God resembled the one that Brielle and I had at the start. It’s not that I hated God, but I think there were times when I was indifferent. I had asked Jesus into my heart more or less to avoid hell. The immature me thought that was enough, with “once saved, always saved” ringing in my ears. What more was there to it? Go to church? Do a little outreach here and there? I could do that on the weekend and do whatever I wanted the rest of the time. Right? Well, whatever I wanted was hostile towards the life that God had in mind for me to live. It was not a good picture of ‘Christian’ living.
As I look back, I think my problem lay in my faith. I didn’t trust God. I’m not sure I knew how it should look. I didn’t see it in action in the people around me. No one talked about it. It appeared to me they were living their lives on their terms. Perhaps I was just so wrapped in my wants and ways I didn’t notice. It would take time and persistence (on God’s part) to change how I felt. Little by little, I learned He always had my best interest in mind when He asked me to set aside my ways for His. My trust level grew until my life was entirely in His hands.
I am so glad God is faithful when we don’t know what the heck we are doing. He was patient with me, showing up over and over. Now, I show up for Him not only in word but also in deed. I talk about what God is doing, maybe more than the everyday person wants to hear, but I am not going to apologize. I want the people around me to have a clear picture of what it looks like to have faith in God, heart-shaped clouds, and all.
Trust in the Lord with all of your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.Proverbs 3:5-6 New Living Translation